I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
