What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize