quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
