I can tuck mytits in my pants
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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