Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
