Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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