Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
