I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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