I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
