it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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