we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
