either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
