I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
