this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Less talking, more tequila
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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