if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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