Define "chronic" masturbator.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
