If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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