I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
