Kiss
Puke
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Randomize
