I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
