Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
