You just made me feel so damn special
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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