How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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