I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
