Your tits are I can't wait for
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
