Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
nutella sex= disaster
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
