if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
