people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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