so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
