i just google imaged poop.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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