I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
