Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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