I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
