pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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