never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
