She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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