I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
