As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
