McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
