Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
