No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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