She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
