google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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