I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
