Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
