Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize