I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
