kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
