How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
