loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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