I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
