Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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