you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
