I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My bed smells like the plague
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
