youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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