Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
