You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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