Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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