i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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