OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
