i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
