Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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