weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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